Why I wish I was a mindreader


Okay, so maybe a year or two ago, during the “cutting phase” I found out my sister was self-harming, now my best friend had also been doing this. I told her to tell my mum, and to seek help and she said that’s what she was doing and that she’d stopped, we left it at that.

I still don’t really know if she had stopped, but I do know that she started seeing a councillor, or something of the sort, however I don’t know this because she told me, I just kind of figured it out.

And then, once after she asked me which prescription I was on for the pill, I looked at hers and found she was taking anti-depressants. Again, not something she told me.

Now today, when she came home, she was with this woman, she gave no explanation and I just left them alone. Then, when I came into the kitchen after they’d left, I found a piece of paper on the table. It was a home treatment plan, because according to the sheet, my sister has been overdosing on her medication.

Again, something she doesn’t want me to know, which I can understand. It’s probably my fault, ever since she started going to a different sixth form and got a new boyfriend, we’ve been drifting apart. And I never know what I should say to her, I mean I don’t know what to say to someone with depression, I can tell her that I’m there for her til I turn blue, but with my experience with my best friend, it’s not enough.

Maybe if there wasn’t such a divide between us, she would have told me, though saying that, she doesn’t tell my parents anything either. But, still, I know that I’m a grumpy teenager, we share a room and I never want to make conversation with her when she comes home, I just want to go to sleep.

But, if only I could read minds, know exactly what she wanted me to say; poof, problem solved. Okay, slight exaggeration, I know it doesn’t work like that, but maybe it wouldn’t make me feel so helpless.

I just am terrified of losing her.

Sorry for the depressing post guys, hope you’re having a groovy day at least.



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